11.Oct – { Solange > Bey }

 

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Hey there, how are you doing? – if you haven’t listened to Solange’s new album “A Seat the Table” – Then you’re probably an idiot.  That was a bit harsh, but I honestly don’t care…you’re an idiot.

I saw a notification from Tidal that Solange had a new album out, and for anyone that knows me knows that it takes me at least 9 years to listen to new music.  They would also know that I’ve been a Solange stan for awhile…it gives me another chance to put someone over Beyonce (other than Robyn Fenty my Boo-thang)…I went to Tidal and at 11:45pm I started listening and I didn’t stop until it was over.  My soul was singing with her – she touched parts of me that have been screaming about the black experience but calmly and melodically dealt with it.  This one is for us! (and by US I mean black people).

The production is mood-shifting.  Chord progressions are deep and intentional and she is definitely married to the tracks, this can only be explained by the fact she was heavily involved in the production.  This album is like when Erykah first came out and no one knew what to do but shut up and absorb it all.  Let her words sink in and be blessed.

Don’t Touch my Hair” – this video has me mesmorized…I need to call my auntie to get finger-waves too btw….when she was just snappin’ with all those melanin-enriched folks dressed in white, I jumped up and started dancing with her.

In 2013 she started to make this album, and I’m godly grateful that she took her time with it.  She documented her processes and jam sessions in the following video – I always love to see people in their creative processes.

The interludes with her parents, and frikkin MASTER P! – MASTER P of all people.  Just sharing experiences and his mindset towards what he did in the 90s to get his “seat at the table”.   Master P also talks about how he loves her message and how she’s gotten internet bullied and not given her just-do because her sister is Beyonce.

This album is well thought out, well put together and NO joke.

I know Rihanna is going to be mad at me – but this is my album of the year…last couple of years actually.  

Thank you Solange,  

Sincerely, 

Kenneth

24.Sep – { In My Bed Crying….} with Brandy

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~My sad, cold, corner of reality…~

If I’m being honest, I cry in the shower sometimes.  Often because I feel the burden & more frequently because I wish I felt it more, so I could channel it into some method of sincere change. Being of mixed heritage doesn’t put me on the fence… In most cases I am the fence; so I debate and attempt show people the other side.

I serve my country proudly because we are a force of constant evolution, usually in the right direction, and that’s the glue that binds me to my military family. I’ve been name called, told I’ve only done “well” because I’m a woman of color and most recently I’ve seen the stares, which made me scared because they do not see my service… They see my skin and big hair.

I do not want us to assimilate, I want us to cohabitate. I’m tired of being angry, judged, hurt & without hope… Can’t we all just admit that though all lives matter, that black lives have proven to be grossly undervalued & that needs to change?

I will say it loudly, I walk with black people
I am a black woman
I worry about my black family & friends
I support the uber vocals like Jesse Williams, Colin Kaepernick & Bill Maher (to name a few).

If I serve and I’m worried, can’t we admit there is an issue?

Don’t stomp on flags, don’t support anti-white, don’t stop apprehending or subduing “criminals”… Just stop shooting first, allowing harm to come to people of color while in custody, assuming folk of color are always “up to no good” and pushing the agenda that America was always great!

We used to sell people!!! That’s not great, but for a great long while it was Legal… Legal doesn’t mean Right! It was once Legal to beat your wife on the court steps on Sunday! Not RIGHT, but LEGAL! America used to allow girls as young as 12 marry older men! It was Legal, but wasn’t Right!

Start by asking yourself would all these things going on bother you if the were pristine white faces? Men, women and children who were not given a chance or choice to be detained, questioned, have trials or be sentenced?  Would you hurt then? If so, you don’t have to admit it to me, but best believe your heart known by he who is most high & I hope you find a way to live with yourself… Or at least have the opportunity not to perish like the ones on dash-cams!

~Hippie Anarchist

18.Sep – { They Cheered at my Death }

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I didn’t die. lol – otherwise this post would be hella weird.  But I basically did.  This post is about owning your moment.  Celebrating your attention and literally not caring a single ounce about what anyone thinks about you.  Gather around I have a story to tell about something that happened to me yesterday – listen up, this is good.

We had a promotion ceremony for our newly minted Chief’s.  Almost the whole ship was there.  For those that are Navy-illiterate, an aircraft carrier has a couple of thousand people  onboard.  Yeah, almost all of them were there.  The bleachers were filled will Sailors and down on the floor there were chairs set up for family, friends and etc…I wanted to be close to the action so I went to the floor seats.  Our Commanding Officer got up to give his speech – and I’m his Exec so I was listening attentively…then all of a sudden…

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(this was me minus about a hunnit pounds and way more melanin)

My chair collapsed into about 29 pieces and I was flat on my back, looking up at the rafters.  It sounded like a gun-shot…. and then it got silent.  As I was laying flat on my back …I knew I had about 3 seconds to OWN MY MOMENT.  I then yelled “Sir…I’m alright!” …everyone erupted in laughter – tear-jerking laughter.  Some were laughing with me, and some at me – And i didn’t care at all.  I stood up like i was gladiator at the colosseum, lifted one hand in the air, waved to the people…took a bow, kicked the broken chair out of the way..pulled up another chair and sat down….as if nothing had happened.

Afterwards many people came to me laughing – but talked about how they would’ve just died if they would’ve gone through the same thing.  Some are quoted in saying “man, you even make breaking and falling in a chair in front of hundreds of people look cool” … I just owned the moment.

In life you can crumble in those moments – or seize them.  I got my big dumb self up off of that floor and rose up like i had done something monumental and awesome, and the people should be grateful to have witnessed someone of my stature break a chair like a proud fat boy.

  • when they cheer at your death, raise from the dead and kill them like a real zombie would

11.Sep { Gay Dad’s that aren’t Gay }

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Some male social media users said they find an adult son being physically close to his father “unnatural.

Recently some pictures of a loving father and son laying down together made some men very uncomfy.  Tragic.

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As you can see in the picture above – captioned “18 years later and he’s still under my arm” …this father has always been close to his son, they love each other.  In this fragile masculine, patriarchal construct that exists today – the notion of a man not doing manly things just shatters the very foundation of some men.  Perhaps I find nothing wrong with this photo because my dad till this day plants big sloppy kisses on my forehead and tells me how much he loves me, and if wanted to…I could lay up under him all damn day.  And Big KB (my dad) is one of the manliest men that has ever manned!  Cars, motorcycles, engines, hunting, camping, trucks, boats, guns, beef jerky, plumbing, carpentry and muscles = my dad.  I assume the list above is what makes a man….idk, I’m still trying to figure that out.

This jaded sense of knowing what “men do” causes way more harm than you think.  It trickles into other areas and stifles the potential for great friendships.  I have several gay male friends – some closer than others…history has shown that my very own sexuality comes into question just from the mere association with gay men.  How can a heterosexual man that is 1000% turned on by women be that cool with gay dudes?  He gotta be gay fam…

EASY, because I know who i am….lol.

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I think the that the men that are extremely concerned with things that don’t look manly – are men that are having problems with their own identity.  They can’t work out in their mind feelings that they may have – so they project and judge in order to not be positioned in a place where anyone would call into question their “manhood”

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I kiss my sons, hug my sons, and they definitely lay on me.  If you feel differently, then go create you some john deer juniors that have severe relational issues and can’t gauge whether or not their dad loves them.  I have no doubt in my mind that mine does, and my sons won’t either – because we have a father-son intimacy that goes beyond some idiots ability to comprehend love.

  • Kenneth

15.Aug – { Words to Welcome Chaos }

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Written from a hole. Cramped in a shell…I have to pour these words somewhere in order to create more room for chaos.

The numbness that is typically reserved for those deserving, has spread to others and without intention.  A recognized need for self-care and mental and emotional attention is before me…but knowing the mud, blood,  and filth that awaits in the journey of healing – combined with a deep falling in order to climb back up is not something to look forward to.  But to climb out of this hole, and be able to look down into it…with the worms, dark secrets and pieces of self would be a major summit in a minor life.

The reclusiveness that is reserved for blunt trauma is upon me, as a cold wet blanket and as much as i want to talk and reach out, i want to be left alone to lay.  In my walking coma.  Amongst others.  Smiling.  The darkness that is growing that I try to kill with matches, burn my fingers.  The soft scent of smoke comforts me as something familiar and finite.  I want to get lost in music…in heavy bass-lines and mood-shifting chord progressions.  No one has played the music I long to hear.  No one has spoken the words i long to hear.

Written from a hole, deep in my sole.  Cramped in a shell.  I have poured words here.  And now more chaos is here.

  • Kenneth