13.June – Big K.B.

Father’s Day is in sight – and people all over the country are either taking this time to recognize their father or father figure – missing one that they have lost or not relating at all due to the absence of such a figure.

I had the fortunate hand dealt to me that had the father card in it – gaining custody of me and my brother when I was 12, he was pretty new to this “dad” thing on a full-time basis – and I too was new at being a son (as it pertained fatherhood). There were a lot of growing pains in the cultivation of our relationship…he was consistently looking for me to usurp his authority and I was consistently respecting this powerhouse of a man that most people feared and respected.  There were many things that my dad and I disagreed on.  I was passionate about sports – he loathed them.  I would much rather write a song or a poem – he wanted me to do car maintenance.  I preferred diplomacy – he preferred more aggressive methods to solve conflict which in my opinion created more conflict.  The teenage Ken’s aim was to glide through the teenage years unscathed and still living – my dad was determined to turn me into a man.  The thing is our definition of what a man was clashed at almost every point – save work ethic, taking charge and being a man of your word.

There were a lot of things that I blamed him for – my collegiate basketball career basically being non-existent due to his lack of interest in my goals and also his ignorance in the process of getting your teen in college.  It wasn’t ’til i was 30+ that I realized how much my dad did for us – how much he loved and cared for me and my siblings and how hard he worked to make sure there was provision in every area in my life.  It wasn’t ’til I was 30+ that my fatherhood provided the proper lens for me to see my dad – in his true state….a hard working, loving, amazing, brilliant, caring and heroic example that many should emulate…

I find myself reflecting back – pulling tools of wisdom to help me be a good father today for my sons ….one could only hope that I do as good as a job as he did.

Happy Father’s Day DAD!

– Ken