Let the games begin! It is that time of year again.Summer has unofficially ended. You may have seen your last rooftop party and you definitely just packed away your all white outfit with the stubborn BBQ sauce stain that you won’t address until next summer. You have lived, drank, flirted, and been on a number of Sunday Funday dates and outings. And now you have looked up and realized, that it is September … football starts, hockey is around the corner, and basketball is on the way and yet, YOU’RE SINGLE!
Awwwwwww shat! In the midst of all your good times, you forgot to pick your fall and or winter boo thang. It is about to get cold outside and you have no one to do anything with. Netflix and Madden can only keep you preoccupied for so long. Don’t worry, you still have some time. Now I’m not about to regurgitate things that you already know about this sacred mating time, however I will give you a few tips on what NOT to do.
1) Don’t go through your phone and text the person you saved as ”Red Line Mike” or “Tiffany from Checkers drive thru”. You haven’t even hit this person up since you got their number. You might get cussed out or you might get a brand new stalker. This is not a viable option.
2) Do not go on Facebook looking for your crush from high school or college. Uncross your fingers. Chances are either they are married or now they are super busted…or both. That super thick chick, now probably looks like the Michelin man. Or the captain of the football team, now looks like the uncle of Chief Keef. In which case, they are looking for an out, and this is not your time to be Captain Save-A… I digress.
3) I know what you’re thinking…shouldn’t I just hit up my ex. Now see, this is touchy because need I remind you that you broke it off to “figure out what you wanted”, when really you just wanted to be a Summer Bunny. And it backfired and now you feel more like a Scattered summer Cockroach, frantically trying to move about and find sanctuary. So, go ahead and call, text, poke…but be prepared that you may get ignored or have a subliminal FB post about how thirsty you are or how ain’t nobody got time for that.
Thing is, you have about a month and a half to get it together. After that last Halloween party, the jig is up. So ladies, keep shaving those legs. Fellas, keep…I don’t know what you have to do…pretty much nothing, ain’t that about a…