15.Dec – { Why Jay Cutler Can’t Be Great }

Funny-Jay-Cutler

so…

I’m sitting here listening to one of my haters (mike) as he mocks me, whilst i blog…he says that I need a deeper v-neck…because my moobs aren’t showing enough.  He’s such a pig…and my moobs aren’t nearly as big as they were about a week ago.

I gathered my manly things to watch a good football game.  Me and this couch and MNF…im chanting BEARDOWN and I’m ready to GO!  Mike got a growler but i haven’t had any of it yet….perhaps after this post i shall partake….anywho, on to the clown of the hour.

The game had been on for 2 minutes…and i had already starting thinking of the Blackhawks and Bulls…what the heezy is going on?

This cat Jay Cutler was out there throwing like Napolean Dynamite’s uncle.  I hadn’t had chest pains like this from watching a football game since watching Mr. Grossman toss the pigskin back in 2007.  Then he gets on national television with that douchy face that i just want to punch.  Why did he get that contract? Why is he our quarterback? I honestly cannot remember the last season where I was not interested in watching the Bears play…at all.  Honestly I had forgotten that they even had a game tonight, a couple of Saints fans on FB (unbeknownst to them) informed me that they were playing the Bears.  Jay Cutler is the sole reason I don’t want to watch them play…that, and the fact that the Bears defense is fundamentally non-existent.  I’m sure George Hallas is not happy about this.  Did we pick up Jared Allen? …Oh ok.

Jay Cutler can’t be great, because it is simply not in him to be great.  It is however, in him to be mediocre at best….and as of late – horrific.  I will say this – I am not watching another Bears game this season…that’s right, I’m on a Bearcott.  Sundays will be dedicated to listening to John P. Kee and writing, and whenever the Bears are playing, I’ll watch youtube clips of Ditka and stare at my Dick Butkus jersey…because this isn’t life, and I don’t have to put of with this misery.

– Kenneth