16 Apr. — { Friends List: Actual }

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The phenomenon of creating your own community on the innanets is nothing new at all. I can recall “lab-assing” in ’98 in college with my friends in the computer lab. We would meet several times a day and troll before trolling was trolling.  Early sites like Yahoo! Chat and AOL gave you the chance to kick down the eDoor and drop an a/s/l in a room of your choice – and then the party began. It was the war of the wits.  Whoever said the most provocative things or cracked the funniest jokes got the most attention. ..and maybe, just maybe… the next time you came into the room someone would recognize your tag and reach out to you.

Then, in the early 90s, the lovely BlackPlanet, AsianAvenue, and MigenteDotCom hit the streets. I love all people, so obviously I was a member of all of the sites. Smaller communities rested on the backs of Paxed (and 2.0), CS, and finally blake.cc. And then, along came Zuckerberg’s creation. Interestingly enough, I’m still eFriends with some people that I “met” in those days. Mark and Tom and them had the ticket — the wildfire of innanet communities spread. People had begun to create a new set of social norms at an alarming rate: social norms that gave you the chance to interact with people whilst relaxing in the comfort of your draws – not having to deal with their annoying, awkward, and very ACTUAL presence. You could respond later, share what you wanted, and be unapologetically who you wanted them to think you were. Somehow, I’ve always been written off as a jerk… dah well.

But what about the friends-list comprised of people that actually come to your house? The friends-list you have to build, be patient with, tolerate, endure, and look at in real life? What about when that weird thing happens with your phone – it rings – and someone wants to talk but you don’t so you decline the call and text them “what do you want?…im busy” as you pick your nose and fast forward through the opening credits of House of Cards awaiting your pizza rolls to finish in the microwave (aka voodoo oven). Has the Webverse made us more anti-social?  Because, NO LIE (and I say this with the utmost sincerity): My time at your function is solely based on the battery life of my phone. If I like you, I just might bring my charger inside and ask you for an outlet as sooooon as I walk into your dungeon without shaking your hand until my phone is secure and getting life.

Friends-List (Actual) is needed more than you think. I encourage you to be intentional about relationships. Actually, call people on their birthdays (SN: stop spamming me with your insensitive and generic holiday group text wishes…. I’m going to start deleting contacts over this seemingly petty issue) and see how they’re doing. Take the time to listen to people while they talk without glancing at your phone every 30 seconds, and you’ll find that these creatures known as Actual Humans are an interesting specimen. If nothing else, you can just stare at them like they’re stupid if what they’re saying isn’t worth a hill of pintos. They usually shut up shortly thereafter.

Bottom line:  There’s a world out there. See it, meet people, talk to them. If, after trying, you find that you don’t like it – then restart your BlackPlanet account.

Add me:  ills_finest3

 

6 Apr.– { Silhouettes & Souls }

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I. Introspective Spillage.
In times like this when I’m out on the great Pacific, I think about how many other mariners have stared into the abysmal oceanscape and gotten lost in their thoughts. A thin border exists in most of us dividing the Soul from the Silhouette; the Silhouette being the cast outline that appears when the light comes, and the Soul being the truest essence of one’s being.
There are probably two people that have seen my Soul… They saw my Soul and did not flinch at the brutal presence that was unveiled, nor did they cover their nose at the stench that surfaced in my soulish nakedness. These are also people that I didn’t have to tell that my Soul was showing… They saw it, smelled it and embraced my totality. They enjoyed the fragrance of my smiles and felt the touch of my laughter, while also sitting silently with me in the corner of my fears being turned on by my own pain like a narcisstic masochist.
With one slight move, the Silhouette can take on a completely different feel. And the beholder is left to interpret what it is they’re actually seeing. The Soul does not so easily transform. I am… simply and fundamentally who I am.
Take that, see that, and love it… or enjoy the shadows on the wall.
Tell this to others and live liberated.
II. Second Wind.
The thing about the Silhouette is that when the light dims and the darkest hour comes… the Silhouette dissipates.
What is cast is only the outline, solely based on angles and positioning. To you, my Silhouette may look different from the way someone else sees it.
That shadow also changes with my physical position and location. Don’t let the smile guide you. Do not let my tall stature and poked-out chest lead you to believe for one minute that the Soul is not rotting. You can enjoy the show with the rest of the people in their seats, eating popcorn and clapping at coronations and crying at tragedies. The Silhouette is the production, the Soul is the writer – a writer that is often misread and misquoted.
I take a second breath and look upon the waters – wondering how much of this ocean is made up of tears… but even the tears help keep you afloat.