19.Dec – { Merry Kwanzaa to My Dad’s Underwear }

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I need more “Christmassy” smelling candles, those things are awesome – got the crib smelling like something magical is going to happen…perhaps my legs won’t go numb the next time I’m making yule logs in the office.

This is not a blog post about deuces btw – don’t ask why it started that way.  I’m 12.

I just wanted to give a hearty shout-out to the most wonderful time of the year!  I am the annoying guy at the office that will sing “white-privilege christmas” all year around…OOPS! I meant “white christmas” – I’m so used to writing about racists, that just slipped in there…MY BAD.  Anyway…this time of year is really special to me because it marks a very special time in my childhood when my dad was being a damn dad.  I mean he was daddin’ it up!  Creating some awesome traditions and really working hard to make sure my siblings and I had a great Christmas.  Me and Anjelo (my brother) go from getting boxes of goodwill clothes and living in the projects to my dad covering the living room floor in gifts.  And this by no means is me telling you that my Christmas was awesome because of gifts – it was awesome because of how much my dad stressed family and togetherness.  We used to have Andy Griffith marathons and ate “Jethro Bowls” of cereal, which basically meant we dumped an entire bowl of cereal into the biggest bowl you could find and just went to town on it.  He would acknowledge Kwanzaa, and teach us about different countries in Afrika, all while blasting Master P and playing Tomb Raider…IN HIS UNDERWEAR.  My dad would walk around the crib in his drawls, anytime of the day – and didn’t give a hoot, as to who was over there – if they didn’t like it, then they could STEP!

The week leading up to Christmas would be filled with cookie making, and us making homemade eggnog.  Which till this day I’m still not brave enough to re-enact.  Might end up sending little josh to urgent care.  The night before Christmas we would all camp out on the living room floor, and the first person up was my dad…daddin’ it up…in his damb underwear ( no shirt, or socks might i add ) grinning from ear-to-ear, kissing all of us on our foreheads and playing with us when we opened out toys and video games.  He was just as excited as we were!

I only hope that one that my kids would look back and remember me.  Remember that I wanted nothing more than to create an atmosphere of togetherness, family, and me standing proudly in the middle of the room in my underwear.

No shirt, but of course with socks because my feet….

– Kenneth

16.Dec – { Self-Awareness and the Realization of Your A-Hole Nature }

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Hey Guys!

Been about a month since I’ve written anything.  It’s amazing how much can transpire in a month.  Certain events can take place and your maturation process can be a bit rocky.  I recently had a point of growth, where I realized that I was being a complete jerk to someone that I consider to be one of my best friends in the Milky Way.  But my jerkish behavior wasn’t realized until i made a decision to really see things from their point of view.

The BOTTOM LINE ===> YOU NEED TO BE THE FRIEND THAT THEY NEED YOU TO BE!

Some things had changed in their life, and the dynamic that had existed for years between us was no longer the dynamic that was needed.  Before, we could go months without talking (as is what happens between me and my other best friends) but when we do talk, the conversations were great and we would continue with occasional text messages or phone calls that were usually prompted by an event or milestone.  Well my friend had gone through some pretty life-altering things and the occasional “wattup tho” text wasn’t cutting it anymore.  They tried to get and keep my attention but I didn’t pick up on the signs….then one day we blew up on each other while i was at a kids bday party.  Chirrens running around and I’m spazzing via FB chat, using the recording option because I was too lazy to type my ignorance.  We went awhile without talking.  Now this break in communication bothered me because I knew we weren’t on good terms – I chilled and gave a lot of thought and attention to what they were saying about me.  AND THEY WERE RIGHT!  I wasn’t being a good friend…

In life we need to evaluate how we are relating to those that we consider friends, and even more to those that are our “best” – The onus was on my to hear them, see what friend they needed me to be – and make great effort to change.  The changes will not happen quickly, but transparency with them, and them knowing you’re trying goes a long way.

At this point…my maturation brings me to look at my other relationships with people – and how my a-hole nature is negatively impacting my friendships.

– Kenneth