16.Dec – { Self-Awareness and the Realization of Your A-Hole Nature }


Hey Guys!

Been about a month since I’ve written anything.  It’s amazing how much can transpire in a month.  Certain events can take place and your maturation process can be a bit rocky.  I recently had a point of growth, where I realized that I was being a complete jerk to someone that I consider to be one of my best friends in the Milky Way.  But my jerkish behavior wasn’t realized until i made a decision to really see things from their point of view.


Some things had changed in their life, and the dynamic that had existed for years between us was no longer the dynamic that was needed.  Before, we could go months without talking (as is what happens between me and my other best friends) but when we do talk, the conversations were great and we would continue with occasional text messages or phone calls that were usually prompted by an event or milestone.  Well my friend had gone through some pretty life-altering things and the occasional “wattup tho” text wasn’t cutting it anymore.  They tried to get and keep my attention but I didn’t pick up on the signs….then one day we blew up on each other while i was at a kids bday party.  Chirrens running around and I’m spazzing via FB chat, using the recording option because I was too lazy to type my ignorance.  We went awhile without talking.  Now this break in communication bothered me because I knew we weren’t on good terms – I chilled and gave a lot of thought and attention to what they were saying about me.  AND THEY WERE RIGHT!  I wasn’t being a good friend…

In life we need to evaluate how we are relating to those that we consider friends, and even more to those that are our “best” – The onus was on my to hear them, see what friend they needed me to be – and make great effort to change.  The changes will not happen quickly, but transparency with them, and them knowing you’re trying goes a long way.

At this point…my maturation brings me to look at my other relationships with people – and how my a-hole nature is negatively impacting my friendships.

– Kenneth