14.Jan – { The Platonic Lie }

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I recently took suggestions from readers on topics they wanted to see me word vomit on…and one that caught my attention was “whether or not men and women can be friends” – in a true platonic state.

Bottom Line Up Front:  No, Nope, Nawl, *shakes head no*, gives the thumbs down.

And oddly enough I say this while having women as friends *gasps* – so here we go diving with an uncomfortable level of transparency.

What I mean here, and if I can be extremely frank, is this.  Unless the person is really unattractive to the other then yes – and even in those cases, their personalities begin to look good.  I can only speak from a man’s perspective.  I know women are weird and complex…so they could probably compartmentalize their dealing with men-friends and have this authentic friendship with a man and live in this euphoric platonic state.  But if I may allow my penis to speak for minute…if the woman is attractive, he’s thought about sleeping with her at least 800,476 times (and that’s just today).

(i typed the below in all caps because i’m serious)

IF HE WAS OFFERED SOME SEXY TIME WITH HER…QUITE POSSIBLY WITH ZERO STRINGS ATTACHED (even though we know all of the strings will be attached) HE’S GOING TO SHOW UP TO THE NIGHT SHOW WITH SOMETHING RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE, A CARAFE OF KY, A DUMB LOOK ON HIS FACE….AAAAAAND HIS JODECI “BEAT IT UP” MIX CD.

Women, you may not know this to be true because of one or two reasons.

Either:

  1.  He respects you and doesn’t want to cross those lines (without knowing where you are with him…which in essence is just fear of rejection)
  2.  He’s just too scared to ask for sex (because of fear of rejection) ….dang, that fragile masculinity is a trip no?

If you’re having a hard time believing this…..just offer a couple of your male friends some “prime time” – if he says no…he’s lying.  If he says yes…I told you so.  They all want it.

I must say – the only absolute is that there are no absolutes.  The exceptions to this scientific fact are:

  1. you’re ugly
  2. you stank
  3. your personality is beyond horrible
  4. he’s gay
  • Kenneth