11.Sep { Gay Dad’s that aren’t Gay }

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Some male social media users said they find an adult son being physically close to his father “unnatural.

Recently some pictures of a loving father and son laying down together made some men very uncomfy.  Tragic.

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As you can see in the picture above – captioned “18 years later and he’s still under my arm” …this father has always been close to his son, they love each other.  In this fragile masculine, patriarchal construct that exists today – the notion of a man not doing manly things just shatters the very foundation of some men.  Perhaps I find nothing wrong with this photo because my dad till this day plants big sloppy kisses on my forehead and tells me how much he loves me, and if wanted to…I could lay up under him all damn day.  And Big KB (my dad) is one of the manliest men that has ever manned!  Cars, motorcycles, engines, hunting, camping, trucks, boats, guns, beef jerky, plumbing, carpentry and muscles = my dad.  I assume the list above is what makes a man….idk, I’m still trying to figure that out.

This jaded sense of knowing what “men do” causes way more harm than you think.  It trickles into other areas and stifles the potential for great friendships.  I have several gay male friends – some closer than others…history has shown that my very own sexuality comes into question just from the mere association with gay men.  How can a heterosexual man that is 1000% turned on by women be that cool with gay dudes?  He gotta be gay fam…

EASY, because I know who i am….lol.

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I think the that the men that are extremely concerned with things that don’t look manly – are men that are having problems with their own identity.  They can’t work out in their mind feelings that they may have – so they project and judge in order to not be positioned in a place where anyone would call into question their “manhood”

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I kiss my sons, hug my sons, and they definitely lay on me.  If you feel differently, then go create you some john deer juniors that have severe relational issues and can’t gauge whether or not their dad loves them.  I have no doubt in my mind that mine does, and my sons won’t either – because we have a father-son intimacy that goes beyond some idiots ability to comprehend love.

  • Kenneth

19.Jun – { Father’s Day Postage }

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Awesome day to those gentlemen worldwide that decided not to pull-out …whatever your reason was….lol!

I’m getting hella text messages from people wishing me a happy father’s day…some of them telling me why they believe I’m a good dad.  Most of them, I honestly don’t know who they are…I’m just tired of responding with a “new phone who dis” message.

I thank all of those that wished me a happy daddy day – but honestly true fatherhood can be down-right scary.  I would imagine that motherhood would be the same.  You just don’t want to get it wrong you know?  In my specific case of fatherhood, I have 2 very talented and gifted young boys that are aware of themselves and their surroundings.  So there’s little wiggle room for error without one of them having an honest conversation on how you need to do better as a person, and a parent.  A they get older – the realization of how much of an a-hole I am is witnesses daily through their actions and responses to the general public.  I don’t know how to NOT be who i am.  I can only mitigate their level of douche-baggery with making sure they love people, and love doing things for people.  Hopefully that’ll balance them out.  We’ll definitely see.

I love those awkward moments when you get mad at them for doing things that you do – but you know they got it honestly, so you’re really not in a position to say anything because you know you’re just as horrible as they are…..BUT you say something anyway because you’re dad.  I heard my dad say it best – one day he apologized to me for not being as good of a dad as he nows thinks he should’ve been..he said “Son, I’m sorry..but as you were growing as my son…I was growing as a dad, and i was constantly met with new things daily, very challenging things…..not like you came with a manual”  I respected him so much for that and it taught me a lot as I was just entering the realm of fatherdom.

  • Kenneth

 

 

19.Dec – { Merry Kwanzaa to My Dad’s Underwear }

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I need more “Christmassy” smelling candles, those things are awesome – got the crib smelling like something magical is going to happen…perhaps my legs won’t go numb the next time I’m making yule logs in the office.

This is not a blog post about deuces btw – don’t ask why it started that way.  I’m 12.

I just wanted to give a hearty shout-out to the most wonderful time of the year!  I am the annoying guy at the office that will sing “white-privilege christmas” all year around…OOPS! I meant “white christmas” – I’m so used to writing about racists, that just slipped in there…MY BAD.  Anyway…this time of year is really special to me because it marks a very special time in my childhood when my dad was being a damn dad.  I mean he was daddin’ it up!  Creating some awesome traditions and really working hard to make sure my siblings and I had a great Christmas.  Me and Anjelo (my brother) go from getting boxes of goodwill clothes and living in the projects to my dad covering the living room floor in gifts.  And this by no means is me telling you that my Christmas was awesome because of gifts – it was awesome because of how much my dad stressed family and togetherness.  We used to have Andy Griffith marathons and ate “Jethro Bowls” of cereal, which basically meant we dumped an entire bowl of cereal into the biggest bowl you could find and just went to town on it.  He would acknowledge Kwanzaa, and teach us about different countries in Afrika, all while blasting Master P and playing Tomb Raider…IN HIS UNDERWEAR.  My dad would walk around the crib in his drawls, anytime of the day – and didn’t give a hoot, as to who was over there – if they didn’t like it, then they could STEP!

The week leading up to Christmas would be filled with cookie making, and us making homemade eggnog.  Which till this day I’m still not brave enough to re-enact.  Might end up sending little josh to urgent care.  The night before Christmas we would all camp out on the living room floor, and the first person up was my dad…daddin’ it up…in his damb underwear ( no shirt, or socks might i add ) grinning from ear-to-ear, kissing all of us on our foreheads and playing with us when we opened out toys and video games.  He was just as excited as we were!

I only hope that one that my kids would look back and remember me.  Remember that I wanted nothing more than to create an atmosphere of togetherness, family, and me standing proudly in the middle of the room in my underwear.

No shirt, but of course with socks because my feet….

– Kenneth

5.July – { Ken’s Honest Attempt at Fatherhood }

 

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It’s been awhile since I’ve written in this lane.  Doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been a crap-load of things to discuss regarding the rockheads (Josiah & Josh) – there just weren’t any moments that moved me to write, until the other day.

To those that don’t know…I currently work states away.  So my direct parenting has had to  take a different face.  That being said, I’ve missed an entire year of school, accomplishments, and points of maturation.  The other day I had the opportunity to see my son Josiah’s artwork…i was BLOWN AWAY! The best way I could describe it was abstract symmetry with splashes of Jean Michel Basquiat.  The people that were around me, didn’t understand my reference points…so I began to point out some pretty exacting points in Josiah’s work, then I brought up Basquiat’s work…the similarities were striking.  I mean the kid is eight! And he’s already a traveling dancer, pop-locking and breakdeancing throughout the west coast.  Has a natural flow for music, his comedic timing and wit is awesome and now this?  How does one properly parent him?  Now this is not to sell Josh short at all, because anything Josiah does, Josh emulates with his own twist…he’s just a couple of years behind JoJo.  I’ve already been in discussion at great length to get them in a school of performing arts – because this conventional education system makes my son feel dumb.  And if anyone has been around him, you’d know that is NOT the case.

Now as any proud father would do, I’m going to share some of his work, and the comparative pieces of Jean-Michel – and tell me what you think

– Growing Father

Jean Michel

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Josiah

He said this was inspired by Afrika.

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